Day 558: He can choke down a tube steak
Image by ORAZ Studio
Kota has taught you a lot. You have just learned how to say "I have a big mouth" in Japanese. That’s a mixed blessing. Let’s back up a bit.
You challenge your nephew to eat his greasy battered chicken and pink hot dog from Mos Burger.
Now for some reason Mos Burger has a reputation for selling higher quality ground up lip, ear and anus, than other ground up hoof, tail and eyelid merchants because they sell a burger made with rice. Fuck a doodle doo. In fact it’s not a burger, because in Japan they think the burger is the bun, so the Mos Burger I ordered contained no burger at all. Bygones.
So he lays down the chicken and tucks into the hot dog with a vengeance. I realise I was just trying out my Japanese when i told him if he ate the whole lot I’d give him ￥5000, but he’s attacking that tube of Yakuza double-crosser flesh so hard it’s squeezing out of the bun and is coating my shoes in diced onion and ketchup.
To my utter disbelief, he gets the whole thing down and demands cash. I tell him not until he eats the chicken, but he knows his S has eaten it and goes quiet.
S informs you this is a Japanese boy hissy fit and says money’s no laughing matter here. You should never try to be funny in Japan. It has always backfired and you know it.
You go to Joshin where you try to talk him out of getting the latest half-baked turd in the quarterly Naruto game collection from Takara Tomy. These generic button mashers are squeezed out with monotonous regularity here but still sell like Robbie Williams’ bum eggs.
So he eschews the long term prospects and goes for "Naruto and the Curse of the Generic Licence Vehicle 38" and accepts it with something bordering on light relief.
You, meanwhile, who suggested staying in Omihachiman because it would be cheaper than going to Hirakata Theme Park, have visited the ATM three times today, and you get the feeling you’re not done yet.
Now if only you could charge Kota for everytime he’s felt up your penis today you’d be a rich man.
and to discover it’s all boxed in
Image by ▓▒░ TORLEY ░▒▓
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